Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Part II. The Door. (Or How God is Teaching Me to Stop Worrying About the War Inside Me and Love the Bombardment of Opportunity).



In John chapter 9, Jesus is talking to some Pharisees and his Disciples. He is trying to explain to everyone who is listening that He is no just a prophet, but the Son of Man. He is the only way to Heaven and He is desperately wanting to save them all.

I am the door. Whoever enters through me will. be. saved.

Jesus is metaphorically telling them that He is their ticket to Heaven. He is the gate keeper, the bouncer,literally the frame in which they must pass through to reach God. He is our doorway to a better life, to redemption.


Like most people who call themselves Christians, I've walked through that door. What I struggle with now is the next door. Or the forty of them that stand before me, closed.


I've always been a fan of the mantra that God will open doors for us to show us the way. Since January, I have applied for over 40 jobs. Most of them in the engineering world. Some in Atlanta, some in DC. A few in Colorado, California, Chicago, and Texas, just to mix it up a little bit.

My only problem is that all the doors I am standing before are apparently nailed shut.

Standing infront of 100 people and telling them that you don't know what you are going to do with the rest of your life is a sobering opportunity that I think everyone should go through. It makes lots of people give you lots of advice and plants lots of seeds in your head about what you should be doing. Maybe I haven't been knocking on the right doors. Maybe I'm not knocking hard enough and God wants me to kick some doors in. Maybe there is a door around the corner I haven't seen yet that is standing wide open.

The only conclusion that I've come to for now is that there are too many doors. And none of them matter. There is one door I've already passed through, and its the only one I should worry about. Since that door is always open, why worry about others being closed? I don't need any other doors. I don't need satisfaction in how many open before me.

God has an open doorway before me that I have already entered, and it is beautiful. It leads to a place that is of unspeakable glory and is better than anything imaginable. Through Him, I've found peace. I've been given hope.


Now it is just a matter of prayer and patience until God leads me further down His path that I started on once I crossed that threshold many years ago.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Hope. Faith. Joy.

Hope.

Faith.

Joy.

Three small words. Three big ideas that I constantly struggle with.

Hope that I will succeed in life, hope that I won't fail.
Faith in God, that His plan will unfold before my eyes.
Joy in the little things, daily finding happiness in my blessings.

Right now, I'm trying to trust. I have no clue where God is sending me right now, except for marrying a special girl in October. I always thought I'd have a job lined up by graduation, that I'd be making so much money- have things figured out.

I know this is God trying to teach me patience and trust, but it is hard. But I sit. and I wait. Hoping. Trying to find joy amongst angst. Putting my faith in something greater. Praying for His plan to unfold.